So, I say fight, but I think we are the only ones who feel like we are sparring. (This is an uber long post, but it’s the perfect combination of wit, charm, and patheticness (not a word, I know), if I do say so myself, so hang in there!)

(So, I googled “First Time Home Buyer Tax Credit” and this image popped up. What is hilarious about it is the asterisk at the end. Couldn’t be more true!)

When we bought this house, we knew that the government was handing out cash to first time home buyers in an effort to boost the housing market. And when I say cash, I mean 8000 buckaroos. We already had every intention of buying a house in 2009, but what more of an enticement could we get?

We closed on the house on August 14, 2009. We mailed our First Time Home Buyer Credit paperwork on Aug. 24. We had heard that it could take 8-12 weeks to hear back from the government, so we anxiously waited for the check. It has been earmarked as furniture money. That way, when you come to visit us, you won’t walk into a semi-empty house! It also means that we won’t have to embarrassingly ask you to please sit at the bar for dinner because we don’t have enough chairs and you won’t have to sleep on an air mattress in an empty room!

So, back to the waiting. We waited the entire 12 weeks before I called the IRS for the first time. The lady on the other end told me, rather rudely I might add, that I needed to just hold my horses. The process took 12-16 weeks and most people were getting their checks around week 15. So, why the heck was I bothering her with this stupid phone call? *Sigh* Now, I am not one to yell at people on the phone when I know that they can do nothing to expedite my situation. So, I politely thanked her and settled into waiting again. Matt and I laughed at how slow the government was, but, we would have the money before Christmas so there was a slight possibility that we would be able to get a few pieces of furniture in before our Christmas open house.

As week 16 approached, our mailbox was still empty of anything from Uncle Sam. So, at the end of week 16 (I would not let her yell at me again for calling to early), I dialed the number and listened to delightful music for 30 minutes before got connected to a person.  This lady, much nicer than the first, informed me, with regret, that they could not verify that we had actual purchased our house.  We would be getting a letter from the IRS within 30 days asking for us to send them more information. Fabulous. I could hear the pity in this woman’s voice. *Sigh* Back to waiting.

We received the request for more information about a week later. You better believe that we gathered all the information they needed (they asked for everything just short of a blood sample) and mailed that bad boy the next day (Dec. 15). I figured we needed to give them about a month to receive and enter all the information. So, we waited. Again.

On January 19 we received a letter from the IRS stating that they had not received any response from their request for more information. So, if we could please just sign this paper saying that we don’t want the money any more. I. was. furious. We had done everything they asked of us. I had not gotten nasty with the people on the phone, we had been prompt and patient in every way.

I called the IRS that night to find out what we needed to do to get them the missing paperwork. I was prepared to beg and run over to Office Depot to fax it to them. As I prepared myself for the worst, the gal on the other end told me that, the IRS had, in fact, received all of our paperwork on Dec. 19. Jigga-what? Our letter was dated for a month after they received the paperwork. She really didn’t have a good answer as to why we got the letter. So, I asked, when should we expect the check? Can you guess what she said?? You got it, 12-16 weeks from the date they received our extra info. Awesome. The situation had become ridiculous the point of absurdity at this point.

We counted out 12 weeks (hey, we’re optimistic)  and got our hopes up (slightly) for the first week in March. We even got a letter from the IRS stating that they would be contact us by March 5. As the time drew nearer, I formed a slightly annoying habit of asking Matt everyday (he gets home before I do) if we got anything from the IRS in the mail. The answer, of course, is always no. March 5 came and went and still had not received anything from the government. I decided to give them an extra week so that I wouldn’t have to make more than one really long phone call.

Sure enough, on March 9, Matt answered “yes” to my annoying question. I couldn’t form words!  Really?? We got it?? But, there was something in Matt’s tone that just wasn’t right. We had in fact gotten something from the IRS. But it wasn’t a check. It was a letter. It said we would be getting our check…in 6-8 weeks. Un-frickin-believable.

The $8000 is truly just a dream at this point. I have almost convinced myself that we will not get it at all. And, I know what you are all thinking, hey, it’s free money, just wait the few extra weeks! I understand that it is totally free. But, who doesn’t want to get free money? It just feels like we have had so many hoops to jump through. My legs are getting tired…